Field Log – Unit G.A.G., Operation Veterans Day 5K, Week 292, 8 November
Location: Parkville, Missouri
Weather: Cloud cover optimal. Sunglasses not required for mission success.
Commencing report: The terrain was damp, visibility moderate, and morale high. Attempted deployment of experimental plastic platform footwear—objective: authenticity. Result: catastrophic structural failure before first checkpoint. Platforms decommissioned after pre-race photo op. Proceeded in standard issue running shoes, camouflage of spirit only.
Audio transmission system concealed beneath uniform malfunctioned at start. Required manual recalibration under jacket—approximate delay, one minute. Radio restored to full operational groove thereafter.
Troop interaction: numerous civilian engagements. Selfies secured with friendly forces and bystanders; public response overwhelmingly positive. One operative shouted, “If I tell you Andy’s coming, you know what to do?”—to which this soldier replied, “Juvenile Incursion Protocol suspended for the duration of this mission, ma’am.”
Command summary: mission accomplished. No casualties, moderate chafing, and strong esprit de corps. As Sarge would say, “Remember your training, and you’ll make it back alive.” Roger that. Over and out.
Pieces/ Parts: Toy Soldier costume from Tipsy Elves in last fall’s BOGO clearance; field radio was a very last-minute DIY with a couple gift boxes and green acrylic paint from Michael’s (yay hot glue)
By the Numbers: 276 unique costumes in 290 races, 190 solo runs, and 8 group runs = 488 costumed runs
Playlist (Spotify)
Playlist (Apple Music)
